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Gaslighting: How to Recognise It and Start Trusting Yourself Again

Do you often find yourself second-guessing what you saw, felt, or remembered — especially after a conversation with a certain person? Do you catch yourself apologising for things that aren't your fault, just to keep the peace? This pattern is often a sign of gaslighting. At Compassionate Minds, Gurgaon, we help clients recognise gaslighting, understand its impact, and rebuild trust in their own perception.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional manipulation where someone makes another person question their own memory, judgment, or sense of reality. It can be subtle or overt, and it often happens gradually — through repeated denial, blame-shifting, or minimising someone's feelings — until the person being gaslit no longer trusts their own perspective.

Where Gaslighting Shows Up

• In relationships and marriage — a partner denying things they clearly said or did
• By parents — dismissing a child's feelings or rewriting family history
• At work — a boss or colleague undermining your competence or recollection of events
• In friendships — being made to feel "too sensitive" for having a reasonable reaction

Why Do People Gaslight?

Gaslighting is often used, consciously or unconsciously, as a way to maintain power and control in a relationship. It's commonly associated with narcissistic behaviour patterns, where avoiding accountability and controlling the narrative protects the gaslighter's self-image. In some cases, it can also be a learned pattern from someone's own upbringing, rather than a deliberate strategy.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Gaslighting

• Frequently apologising, even when you're not sure what you did wrong
• Constantly second-guessing your memory or version of events
• Feeling confused or "crazy" after conversations with a specific person
• Being told you're "too sensitive" or "overreacting" often
• Having your feelings dismissed or minimised repeatedly
• Difficulty trusting your own judgment, even in unrelated areas of life

The Effects of Gaslighting on Mental Health

Over time, gaslighting can lead to chronic self-doubt, anxiety, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Many people who've experienced long-term gaslighting describe feeling disconnected from their own emotions or unsure of what they truly think or feel. In more prolonged cases, it can also contribute to symptoms associated with trauma, making it harder to trust future relationships.

How to Deal With Gaslighting

1. Name what's happening. Simply recognising the pattern as gaslighting, rather than personal failure, is a powerful first step.
2. Keep a record. Writing down events as they happen can help you trust your own memory when it's being challenged.
3. Set boundaries. You don't need to debate your own reality — it's okay to disengage from circular arguments.
4. Lean on outside perspective. Trusted friends, family, or a therapist can offer clarity when your own perception feels shaken.
5. Give yourself permission to trust yourself again. Healing isn't just about the relationship — it's about rebuilding confidence in your own judgment.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you're constantly doubting yourself, feeling anxious around a specific person, or struggling to trust your own perception, it may help to talk to a professional. Therapy can help you process the impact of gaslighting, rebuild self-trust, and — if needed — navigate the relationship or set boundaries going forward.

At Compassionate Minds, Gurgaon, our therapists support clients through recognising, processing, and healing from gaslighting and emotional manipulation.

FAQs

Q1. What are common gaslighting phrases?
Ans. Gaslighting often involves phrases that deny someone's reality or dismiss their feelings, such as insisting something "never happened" or repeatedly telling someone they're overreacting.

Q2. Is gaslighting a form of abuse?
Ans. Yes, gaslighting is widely recognised as a form of emotional and psychological abuse, particularly when it's a repeated pattern used to control or manipulate someone.

Q3. How do I know if I'm being gaslit?
Ans. Common signs include frequently doubting your memory, over-apologising, feeling confused after conversations with a specific person, and having your feelings regularly dismissed.

Q4. Can gaslighting cause long-term trauma?
Ans. Prolonged gaslighting can contribute to chronic self-doubt, anxiety, and in some cases trauma-related symptoms, especially when it occurs over an extended period.

Q5. Can therapy help after experiencing gaslighting?
Ans. Yes. Therapy can help you process the experience, rebuild trust in your own perception, and develop strategies for healthier relationships going forward.